Friday, January 27, 2017

Donald Trump, You are a LOSER When It Comes to Appearance

Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. What is with the way you look? It's horrible. It's embarrassing.

You should take GQ's sartorial advice. Really. Pick up the red phone and give them a call. Now, before you put on your absurdly long tie. Just set the tie down and back away. Slowly.

First, what's with your hair? It does not seem to attach to your scalp anywhere. Grown men do not wear their hair like this. And the color! It seems to change from Oompa Loompa to fluorescent orange to mandarin to kumquat to tangerine. Can't you just pick one color not found on earth and stick to it?

Then there's your face! Don't stick out your lower lip so much and for god's sake wash off that Cheeto dust! We know you love food that's bad for you, but really!

As GQ pointed out, your pants are baggy and wrinkled. Your jacket is oversized and usually unbuttoned and the sleeves of your shirt are too long. You are a rumpled, frumpled hot mess!

Who dresses you? Whoever it is, the moment you assume full evil dictator powers, you should have them taken outside and shot.

Donald, you do not look Presidential. You barely look human. Watch the GQ video. Watch it over and over. I know you probably are doing that right now because it pisses you off—but for the sake of the nation, heed their advice.

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