With Lolo [Soetoro], I learned how to eat small green chili peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy).
-- Barrack Obama, Dreams From My Father, 1995
Say what you want about Romney, but at least he only put a dog on the roof of his car, not the roof of his mouth. And whenever you bring up the one, we’re going to bring up the other.
-- Jim Treacher, DC Trawler Blog, 17 April, 2012
On Thursday, Sarah Palin reacted to the revelation that a Secret Service agent, who was caught up in the Colombia prostitution scandal, had been in her security detail during the 2008 presidential campaign. He also posted photographs of them together on his Facebook page, and commented that he was "checking her out."
"Well check this out, bodyguard, you're fired," Palin said during an interview with Fox News' Greta Van Susteren. "I hope his wife ... sends him to the doghouse -- as long as he's not eating the dog, along with his former boss."
Palin's joke was in reference to the recent push by Mitt Romney's presidential campaign to attack President Barack Obama for eating dog meat as a child.
-- TheGrio, 20 April, 2012
"Ramona, send one of my minions in here! Helmsley, if he's available."
"Yes, Karl?"
"No first names, dammit, Helmsley! You know that! It helps us maintain deniability."
"Sorry, Mr. Rove. What do you want?"
"No, no, use my code name! The one George W. gave me."
"Yes sir, Mr. Turd Blossom."
"No, no! the other one! The other one!
"What do you need me to do, Mr. Boy Genius?"
"This thing with Mitt strapping his dog to the family car is killing us. We have to come up with a way to distract the public from his astonishingly stupid behavior. I want you to go out and find something we can use against Obama. Anything to do with dogs."
"Get me something. Anything!"
"Yes, Karl."
"Dammit!"
"Oh, right, sorry, no first names."
"Just get me something!"
"Yes, Mister Tur-- Mister Boy Genius."
---
"I have it!"
"You have what, Hensley?"
"I did a web search of Obama and dog. Nothing came up but pictures of him with Bo, and there were no forks in the pictures. So I had my minions type in the entire text of Obama's book.
"You don't have minions! I have minions. You have, you have...
"Serfs?"
"Sub-minimum wage workers. What did you find?"
I searched dog + Obama - Bo..."
I'm waiting..."
"We know Obama's family was poor, right?"
"Right. How vulgar."
"And we know as a boy he lived for a time in Indonesia, right?"
"Right. Is Indonesia a communist country?"
"No, but we can claim it is."
"Excellent."
"Anyway, in the years he lived there his stepfather, Lolo Soetoro, fed him Indonesian food. And in Indonesia they eat things we don't eat here."
"Like fruits and vegetables?"
"Exactly, Kar-- Mr. R--, Mr. Tur-- sir. And Lolo fed him guess what?"
"Bad sushi?"
"No, dog meat.Obama wrote this in his book: 'I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy).'"
"Grasshoppers. Do they have a caterpillar phase?"
"Unfortunately, no."
"Drat! I would have liked to have tied Obama to the war on caterpillars-- I mean women."
"But Mr. Rove, there is the dog thing."
"Right. A ten-year-old is fed a national delicacy by his father. We can use that to turn Obama into an evil, canine-crunching monster."
"Yeah! Chihuahua burgers. Rotweiners."
"Pooch puffs. Puppyseed bagels. God, I love my job!"
"How about, 'Romney may have put his dog on top of his car, but at least it wasn't on the roof of his mouth."
"Oh, I like that! Write it up and send it as a talking point to every Republican on our list."
"Even Sarah Palin?"
"Especially Sarah Palin."
"Will there be anything else, K-- Mr. Boy Genius?"
"Yes. Find some way to use the snake meat thing against him."
"Certainly, Karl."
Sources
Jessup, Meredith. (2012, 18 April). Dogs Against Romney founder defends Obama's canine cuisine. The Blog.
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